That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
