Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
