i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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