oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
