you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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