went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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