everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
