I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
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These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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