she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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