he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
only you would photoshop your dick
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
