weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
