Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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