I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
