So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
