I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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