dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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