He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
