someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
