yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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