Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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