ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
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