idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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