remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
