I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
