I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
