He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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