Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
