Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
