I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize