What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
