i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize