Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
