You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
