can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I currently don't understand fingers.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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