I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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