In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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