I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize