you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
should my penis look like a turkey
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
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