Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize