If you die in college, do you die in real life?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
