you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
