So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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