The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
