in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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