I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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