It's Friday. Sex?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My liver just had a heart attack.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
