He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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