yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
