well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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