but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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