I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
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I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
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We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
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