sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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