What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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