Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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