And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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