I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
