I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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