Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
